Carson Hinzman won’t be snapping to Julian Sayin anymore this season. He’s adapting now to shotgun and under-center snaps with backups Luke Fahey and Tavien St. Clair. (Press Pros Feature Photos)
Carson Hinzman is at the center of everything Ohio State does on offense, and he’s the guy who lightens the mood when the skies turn inevitably gray during a long season, especially now with the unknowns at quarterback.
Columbus, OH – When Carson Hinzman walks into the room, nothing visually says team comedian.
He’s big and burly like you would expect a football center to be. He carries a weighty presence of 301 pounds.
Only serious football talk will follow, right?
Wrong.
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Oh, Hinzman, a fifth-year senior and veteran of thousands of snaps, hangs some serious moments on the assembled group whether it’s the media, a linemen meeting, or an evening of tomahawk steaks at Hyde Park.
But the jokes are coming. He can’t help himself. He tries, but even in the middle of a serious sentence, his sometimes warped sense of humor spits out.
Veteran columnist Jeff Gilbert writes the OHSAA and Ohio State sports for Press Pros Magazine.com. Follow on X @jw_gilbert
Could there be a better antidote to stressful times?
No.
Hinzman is exactly what second-ranked Ohio State needs in the middle of a stressful season that got more stressful when quarterback Julian Sayin’s season ended two weeks ago on a sack Hinzman didn’t allow.
For two weeks, most of the discussion around the Buckeyes has been about who will be the next quarterback — Luke Fahey or Tavien St. Clair.
On a serious note, Hinzman said he believes in both untested men under center.
“There’s a reason those guys are at Ohio State … you know what I mean?” Hinzman said. “Those guys are great athletes, great quarterbacks, and so for us to just allow them to go play football and just go beat [USC] is going to be huge.”
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Hinzman fielded questions like a veteran as the final act of Tuesday’s news conference … for 18 minutes. That might be a record.
As time passed, it got weirder.
Hinzman was asked about what it’s like to snap to different quarterbacks.
This is the most common view quarterbacks have of center Carson Hinzman. But he’s the one who has their back.
“Some of them come under center a little bit differently …. that’s a little weird,” he said and laughed nervously.
We all laughed.
But that wasn’t the end of the talk about quarterback-center bonding.
“This sounds so crazy, but I haven’t felt his hands ever,” Hinzman said of Fahey. “Like that’s a little weird, but it’s true.”
He paused for a thought.
“I shouldn’t say ever … in a while. I don’t know how to phrase that any better. Sorry, guys.”
But he didn’t stop.
“If you can feel their hands or not, where they’re holding them it’s really important,” he explained. “Like, if I can’t feel their hands underneath, you’re kind of just guessing. But again, both those guys do a good job of coming in and figuring it out.”
And … Hinzman was happy to be finished with that subject. Suffice it to say, he’s ready for either quarterback, or both, to play and expressed team-wide confidence in both.
Hinzman is one of 18 finalists for the Campbell Trophy, awarded to a player for high academic standing, high-level play on the field, and exemplary leadership. Humor is not a requirement. Still, he was asked, if he had to write a term paper about Fahey, how would it begin?
First, a disclaimer.
“I’m not gonna say I’m relying on ChatGPT for my term papers or anything … I won’t do that,” he said with another wide grin, generating more laughs in the room.
But seriously, “Him and Tavien have been out there getting the guys worked up, riled up, to go out and prove to some people that we still got a phenomenal team. Jules, who’s a great leader, great quarterback, is down. That doesn’t mean our team’s down. And so both those guys have been doing a great job.”
Presumably, one of Hinzman’s jobs is nicknames, either to give them or perpetuate them.
Now that the linemen know Luke Fahey’s actual first name is Cowen, that of course, is what they call him. To them it’s a nickname.
Hinzman broke news Tuesday that the linemen, at least, now call Fahey “Cowen” because it’s his actual first name, Luke being his middle name.
Hinzman was asked to spell this prevously unknown fact.
“I think it’s C-O-W-E-N,” he said. “Luke told me that. He could be completely lying to me. I have no idea. He lies to me a lot. So not Luke Fay, but Luke Montgomery.”
Montgomery is telling the truth. And so is Hinzman when it comes to the nicknames among the linemen.
Austin Siereveld is “Piggy.” He is expected to be back in the lineup after missing two games.
“Having ‘Piggy’ back is great,” Himzman said. “Not only his presence being in there, but we miss his bald head. He’s a very large human being, great communicator when it comes to the offensive line. We always kind of joke with him that he’s like a diesel truck. He’s kind of like rumble, rumble, rumble all the time. But when it comes to the field, he communicates really well. And we roll really well when he’s in there.”
Down the line are Phillip “Philly” Daniels, Gabe “Sicko” Van Sickle, Luke “Mont-bummery” Montgomery, Jake “Cookie” Cook and plain old Ian Moore because there’s more than one Ian on the team.
And for Hinzman’s nickname(s) …
“You’d have to ask the others … ‘Unc,’ ‘Grand Unc,’ ‘Grumble,’” he said. “I’m super old.”
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At the end of the regular season, Hinzman, the son of Wisconsin school teachers, will audition his stand-up routine in Las Vegas.
“Me and Andy heading out to the Bellagio on December 8, so that’ll be cool,” he said, referring to sports communications assistant Andy Kovar. “I know Coach [James] Laurinaitis is heading out there too, so heading out there with a Minnesotan is a little icky, but that’s cool. It’ll be fun.”
No group, from all appearances, has more fun than the fat and happy O linemen.
Carson Hinzman is looking forward to his trip to Las Vegas as a finalist for the Campbell Trophy.
The recently spent an evening at Hyde Park Prime Steakhouse, each of them, presumably, devouring the $154 Scarlet and Gray Steak. No joke. It’s a 39-ounce tomahawk ribeye, heavily marbled and served sliced.
Imagine the nickname you’d earn at that expansive and expensive table as the guy who ordered the 8-ounce, 57-dollar filet mignon.
“My dog this morning was very, very excited when he got a giant A5 Wagyu tomahawk bone,” Hinzman said. “He’s probably gonna have the poops later, but like for right now, it’s really cool for him. Can’t die if you never live. So yeah, he’s balling out right now.”
And the dog’s name?
“Moose, yeah, ‘Big Moose,’” he revealed. “We found out there was actually a cat in my neighborhood also named Moose. So that was big time for the community.”
Moose, however, can’t block for running backs or protect quarterbacks.
Saturday, against USC at historic Los Angeles Coliseum, that job belongs to Ian, Piggy, Sicko, Philly, Mont-bummery, Cookie and Unc.
Cowen, and maybe Tavien, will be counting on it along with well-placed snaps from “Unc.”
And in the middle of an extra-stressful situation, when the quarterbacks need it most, they will count on “Unc” for a moment of levity.
He’ll be here all season.
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